There are people who win the lottery and immediately devise a stoic attitude, a wise investment plan, and a determination to remain the person they've always been. I would not be one of those people and, let's be honest, neither would you. Ours would be a millionaireship full of flipping the bird at plebeians as we board our golden, Bahama-bound Learjet. God, we would be the worst, wouldn't we?
Well, no. Our little kinks and haughty gestures would be downright pedestrian compared with the bullshit antics of some of the real lottery winners out there. The whole point of lotteries is that anyone can win, and sometimes the jackpot goes to the guy who can feel love only when he's watching documentaries of the Hindenburg disaster while huffing the ashes of cremated kittens.
Which is how we keep winding up with these fucking people in the news.
#5. The Winners Who Hid the Money from Their Spouses
Ingram Publishing/Ingram Publishing/Getty ImagesIf that seems like a dickish line of thinking, Arnim Ramdass is about to prove you right. When the universe decided to compensate his unfortunate name by providing him and his lottery posse with sufficient means to ram all the ass, he knew exactly what he would do with his $600,000 share: hide that huge, heavily publicized pile of money from his wife by any means necessary. It was time for Bullshit Feedin' Olympics, and Ramdass was both the reigning champion and the only competitor.
Ramdass did actually manage to smoke-and-mirrors his wife for a period of time. Beyond that, the story is delightfully Rashomon. Some sources say the wife found out the truth when idly Googling her husband one day. Others indicate Ramdass bought a new house behind her back, and she found a congratulatory card from the real estate agency in the mail. My personal favorite is the Fox News version, where ol' Ramdass decided to go full sitcom, attempting to hide his heavy media presence with a never-ending stream of excuses to keep the television turned off, and randomly disconnecting their phone, because stealth personified, that man. What most sources do agree on is the fact that when he was confronted, he did the classy thing and ran the hell away, leaving no traces of himself or his money save for (probably) a man-shaped hole in the wall. His wife was left facing an eviction and a pile of bills that he had neglected to pay.
Meanwhile, Denise Rossi became the second most surprised member of her family when she won a cool $1.3 million in the California state lottery. The most surprised? Her husband, whom she immediately and without explanation divorced as hard as she humanly could. Of course, she conveniently forgot to mention her winnings to either her husband or the divorce court. This "total asshole" stratagem for money management proved to be a viable one, and Rossi waltzed away scot-free ...
lisafx/iStock/Getty Images... wait for it ...
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